Two Females, One Bar.

August 9, 2010

Our moods have increased drastically as we begin initiation of our new plan.  As soon as we confirmed our ride with Mike, our smiles reemerged from the dark, moist, caverns of our mouth-holes, and a pure, brilliant happy feeling filled our weary souls.  Essentially, ridesharing down to San Diego guarantees that we WILL get to the Mexican border and we WILL get to spend some time in Southern California.  Both of those delightful goals were becoming dubious possibilities as time begins to run out on us.  Furthermore, we WILL also get to see LA when we bike back up the coast – it’s on the way to Vegas.

(PS. HOLY CRAP, Vegas!  So very soon!)

Last night, we biked a few short miles into Cupertino, CA in order to wait for our ride down the coast today.  We hung out at the library for a while, and when that closed at 6PM, we had no choice but to resort to MISSION DRINK.  Now that we no longer have dudes with us, we can return to our natural habitat, ie. that low-lit den-like building on the corner of town full of older men getting plowed.  Using our super sensitive, keenly trained, and ultra precise bar-radar, we located the best dive bar in town, Paul & Eddie’s Monta Vista Inn (  Using our incredible double-x chromosome magic, we made friends with everybody at the bar within 15 minutes.  And having wheeled our loaded cycles onto the premises, everybody knew that we were both extremely badass and also not from these here parts.

It’s been awhile since we’ve felt like unique, special snowflakes – the West Coast sees so many touring cyclists that we’ve felt more like a tiny part of an avalanche.  But Cupertino isn’t on the coast, and it isn’t really on the way to anywhere that a touring cyclist would normally go.  We’re only in town for our rideshare, after all.  Thus, at Paul & Eddie’s, we got star-treatment once again.  (How it should be.)  We bought ourselves one beer each, and the locals took care of the rest.

At Paul & Eddie’s, Jaegermeister is the house wine.  The little bar claims to sell more Jaeger than any other bar in the entire Bay Area.  At first, we didn’t believe it.  But after pounding back round after round of Jaeg-shots, we were starting to think it just might be the truth. By the end of the night, we had each had 4 shots of Jaeger and our minds were fuzzier than baby bunnies. The kind bartender lady had mercy on our stomachs and prepared 2 hotdogs and a bowl of potato salad for each of us. ‘Twas truly grand.

BAR MOMENT:  It got dark outside and as usual, we hadn’t yet figured out a place to sleep. Close to the end of the night, one of the guys who had bought a round of shots approached us and squeezed Colleen’s shoulder, saying, “You guys just might get lucky tonight.  My wife is at this wedding or something tonight, and I refused to go because I had to come here instead.  Anyways, I just called her and left a voice message.  I’ve got a big backyard, and you can probably camp there. Want to know what I told her?  I said, ‘there are these two extremely hot girls with great bodies here at the bar, and I wanna take them home and let them sleep in our yard.'” Colleen, not quite able to believe her ears, responded, “You actually said that in a voicemail to your wife?”  He replied, “No.  I actually said, ‘there are these two girls extremely hot girls with great bodies here at the bar.  One of them has a huge rack.  I want to let them sleep in the backyard.”  Conclusion:  Men are extremely hilarious.

Pig & Wacko's. The perfect camping site.

We wound up camping in “Pig” and “Wacko”‘s backyard, about a half-mile from the bar.  Pig, thus nicknamed for his obsession with collecting piggy paraphernalia, gave us coffee in the morning and then we all went back to Paul & Eddie’s to keep the buzz going with some morning Bloody Mary’s, which were extremely delicious.  Back at the bar, we found out that there were only two bottles of Jaegermeister left after the previous night’s debauchery, and that those meager two bottles were supposed to last until Wednesday.  Oops… Guess we all outdid ourselves.

We had a wonderful time reliving some of our Midwestern nights of intoxication and revelry.  Thank you, Cupertino, for delivering some serious fun in our moment of boredom and lethargy.

And for the cherry-topper, we should be off to San Diego shortly!  USA-Mexico Border, here we come! At 60 MPH rather than <15!

Moment of Zen


2 Responses to “Two Females, One Bar.”

  1. Christine said

    Who is the Mike that is giving you the ride?

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